Pete Davidson wants the negativity to stop. Since the Saturday Night Live star returned to Instagram last week following his split from Ariana Grande, he has not encountered a warm reception.

Fans of Grande’s have poured into his comments section, accusing him of ending the engagement. In a heartbreaking new post, Davidson shares his past—and current—struggles with mental health, saying he hopes his openness will raise awareness in general about the huge impact cyberbullying can have on victims.

“I've kept my mouth shut. Never mentioned any names, never said a word about anyone or anything,” the 25-year-old comedian writes. “I'm trying to understand how when something happens to a guy the whole entire world just trashes him without any facts or frame of reference. Especially in today's climate where everyone loves to be offended and upset it truly is mind-boggling.”

“I've been getting online bullied and in public by people for nine months,” he continues. “I've spoken about BPD and being suicidal publicly only in the hopes that it will help bring awareness and help kids like myself who don't want to be on this earth. I just want you guys to know. No matter how hard the internet or anyone tries to make me kill myself. I won't. I'm upset I even have to say this. To all those holding me down and seeing this for what it is — I see you and I love you.”

Sympathy poured in from fans, with one writing “please stay strong,” and another saying, “You are amazing!”